Dreams reborn.... really?

Its been ages since I abandoned this blog....

Not that it was intentional....
But because work has been keeping me occupied....
More responsibilities added now since my last appraisal....
I guess that's how a person walks on in his/her career path....
Soon, there will be no time for oneself anymore....
Really, is it worth it?
Everything becomes a responsibility....
What happens to passion and emotions?
We are humans, at the end of the day....
Humans have feelings....
But there are those who expect the most....
Those who feel that they can achieve more than what they are doing....
But where is the balance?


- Dreams reborn.... really?

One of the very true fact about me is that I don't have much patience. I can be nice to people, people who are weird, who are not friendly, who are cold, who are bad tempered (._.) yet, when it comes to patience, it is my weakpoint. I just cannot wait.

Since young, when my dad promise me to buy something, I always remember buggin him to a point that he will start scolding me

"Ping, the problem with you is when I promised you something, you always want to have it immediately! "

Okay, so i have that problem since young. And i guess I carry this habit all the way till now, that explains why I keep pushing you to make up your mind, to decide whether you like me or not, to decided what are we...

Just like today, I have checked my emails almost every hour on my mobile. When I should know better it is very unlikely I will be notified on email. But i guess that's me... I really need more patience... BUT I DONT LIKE TO WAIT!!

FEAR is inherently

FEAR is inherently a parasite. It derives its nourishment from a person's insecurities, doubts, limiting beliefs and lack of self worth. People spend their entire lives feeding it but its nature is insatiable. The TREATMENT lies in turning around and looking it in the eye!

our Happiness Quotient is directly proportional to out abilities of aligning our attitude with the realities of of our life. As Marcel Pagnol says, "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better then it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved the it will be".

In our world, 

Do we get angry at the barking of a dog?ferocity of a lion?timidity of a cow?

NO, because we ACCEPT it as the particular creature's Nature! Acceptance brings tolerance.When a dog barks at our car we don't jump off and confront/get offended.We simply keep moving ahead undisturbed.
Why do we find it difficult to accept the nature of another human being ?Why do we become intolerant & amp; switch to 'correct him'mode?

Ownership

aaah.... Well, one of the most Important topic now a days which is occupying my mind days and night is about ownerships....

Why can't we take ownership of any mistakes or ill mannered behavior when we now how to take credit of anything good with did or happened by chance..??

Strange, Human mind always looks for appreciations only.. one should be responsibly in both ways. why one always shout his good work only...

planning.....

well,

most of the times, post failures we always sit and think when went wrong or what actually didn't worked for us...

while discussing it, We tend to forget about most important factor which hampers our job... this is called planning ..

to completing the job successfully, one need a systematic approach. One need to plan things, resources and tools which can be helpful in rolling things perfectly.

One needs to ascertain scope of work and line up. Need to make a road map for defining steps and timelines which are very useful.

Doing the same, we can achieve the goals effortlessly.

design ruinations...!!!

One of the most powerful aspect behind one's success is "How one can deal with this world..?" which often means, how you can transform your thinking and ideology to others mind. How you can explain your thoughts and how you can put the same in words..

Working with bunch of creative heads, I realized it "how difficult it is to control one's creativity.. Its easy to control non-creative guys explain the concepts to them to follow guidelines but on other hand (which is mostly expected) one expects creative guys to understand concepts easily. The problem arises when creative bugs start thinking on the concepts which are already discussed and closed.

This actually takes a concept to a place from where it can be vociferated  as disaster. it takes a simple design to ruination of entire concept.

Recently, while working on one concept, I faced lot of problem explaining it. despite of providing all the technical drawings and other details as per scale, we failed to control execution at various levels.

while figuring out the problem with team, I realized, we fell apart as we handed over the concepts in vendor's hands without involving ourself into it much. indirectly we were surviving on vendor's wish to execute it for us resulting into a incurable mess.....

this left me with a question ..... for how long we need to live with these design ruinations...???

Is it a problem of being unorganized...??

Well, in this day and age when efficiency and  being organized are virtually essentials for any kind success, I see no reason for anybody to tolerate inefficiency within himself/ herself. Particularly when things can be done about it...!!!! Fundamentally, there is only one person responsible for how you think which get transforms into your actions... 

and results may varies from perfection to ruining down the concept..

the fact that you are reading this blog right now because you are interested to read it or may be coz if some unknown reason. But interestingly, you are interested; and interest is an essential element for learning anything.  Another essential for learning is to do something about it; and when you started reading this, at least you did something...!!

unfortunately, too many people in this world are talkers and wishers ( I may also come in this category... i think) instead of doers.  And sad but true - those who need most are the ones who rarely will make the effort to procure that help. people who have a perfect set of teeth will visit the dentist twice a year. the ones who should see their dentists rarely do.

so reach out and discuss issues before it can ruin your concepts and deliverables........!!!!

right...????

  

Perceptions...!!!!

In more than 8 years of working, with people in business, work place and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people.

many of them has shared

(the most frustrated one)

"I've set and met my career goals and I'm having tremendous professional success. but it's cost me my personal and family life. I don't know my wife and children anymore. I'm not even sure I know myself and what's really important to me . I've had to ask myself --- is it worth it ..?

I've started a new diet - for the fifth time this year. I know I'm overweight, and I really want to change. I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with the positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do it. But I don't. After few weeks, I fizzle. I just can't seem to keep a promise I make to myself.

I see my friends and relatives achieve some degree of success or receive some recognition , and I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically. But Inside, I'm eating my heart out Why do I feel this way...?

I've been working so hard, giving my 14 hours a day which includes intensive travelling for 4 hours a day. Always start my day with open frame of mind with positive thinking. by the time I reach office, my positive energy transforms into negative (probably) which leads to delay in work and failing meeting deadlines. once I reach back home, I'm unable to enjoy with my family as I always end up reaching late hours. Don't know how to transform things to get going for me....

My marriage has gone flat. We don't fight or anything; we just don't love each other anymore. we've gone to counseling; we've tried a number of things, but we just can't seem to rekindle the feeling we used to have.

To me, these are deep problems, painful problems - problems that quick fix approaches can help - in short, these can be cured over a period of time working with positive frame of mind with lots of thinking and knowledge to judge our actions and thought process which is causing these problems.

Few years ago, My friend Sunil ( sorry dear for disclosing your name ) and his better half was struggling with this kind of concern. Their son was having very difficult time in school. He was doing poorly academically: he didn't even know how to follow instructions on the tests. Socially he was immature, often embarrassing those closes to him and athletically, he was small, skinny, and uncoordinated. for example, He swings his cricket bat almost before the ball was even pitched and others would laughed at him...!!

My friend was consumed with a desire to help him. He approached me with the concerns and we started working on it (as playing cricket is my hobby so I thought, it will be good learning for me too). That time, he felt that if "success" were important in any area of life, it was supremely important in the role as parents. so we worked on our attitudes and behavior towards him and we tried to work on his son. we tried to psych him up using positive mental attitude techniques. "Come on, son..!! you can do it...!! we know you can. Put your hands little higher on the bat and keep your eyes on ball. Don't swing till it gets close to you." and if he did little better, we would go to great lengths to reinforce him "That's good son. Keep it up."

Whenever others standing use to laugh, we reprimanded them. " leave him alone. get off his back. He's just learning." and their son would cry and insist that had never be any good and that he didn't like cricket anyways..

nothing seems to be really helping us and my friend was really worried. we could see the effect this as having on the self-esteem. we tried to be encouraging and helpful and positive, but after repeated failure, we finally drew back ( on his wife's request) and tried to look at the situation on a different level.

At this time, I was reading a book on Leadership development work including subjects like Communication and Perception. As I researched more on the same subjects, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they governs the way we see, and how the way we see governs how we behave. This led me to study of expectancy theory and self fulfillment prophecies, and to realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. it taught me that we must loot at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

As Sunil and I talked about the concepts and our own situation, we began to realize that what we were doing to help the litter master in making was not harmony with the way we really saw him. when we honestly examined our deepest feelings, we realized that our perception was that he was basically inadequate, somehow "behind." no matter how much we worked on our attitude and behavior, our efforts were ineffective because, despite our actions and our words, what we really communicated to him was, "You aren't capable. You have to be protected."

We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, We first have to change our perceptions..........right ????